Subject to Change

This blog is not abandoned!

2005-07-28T13:53:00.000+01:00

Although there is very little of interest here at present, I felt it prudent to tell you that this blog has not been abandoned, it is merely on hold. This is not a symptom of the relative dullness of my life, in fact, quite the opposite. There has simply been too much on and to say anything about it now may jeopordise my legal standing in the near future. So you'll just have to wait with baited breath until I get back to you. Until then, here are some words that I am liking at the moment:

Brick
Ladyflaps
Umbrella
Acieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed!!!
Shoeburn
Pillar
Grouchy
Neologisms (see Ladyflaps and Shoeburn)
Repellent
Itch
Pecuniary
Peripatetic
Slinger/Banksman (someone explain this to me please, how does one get a job as a Slinger/Banksman?)
Crumple
Graduand
Suppress

Thank you for your attention. Over and out.

Notice of niceness

2005-05-12T15:24:00.000+01:00

I have decided that from now on I will reserve scathing attacks and rampant negativity for those things that are an unbearable blight on my existence. I will attempt, from this post forth, to say nice things, about nice people, and nice places, and maybe nice events or even nice ideas. Well, for as long as my 'nice' vocabulary lasts, which won't be long because the only other 'nice' word I know is 'pleasant'. Which sounds too much like peasant. And they're not nice. Revolting in fact, if I remember rightly? It also sounds like pheasant and that just reminds me of the one I hit at 70mph that ripped my roof rack out of its sills, thus encouraging further rust to develop in my already decaying Fiesta. I don't like the word pleasant.
But onwards and upwards , I will not allow my blog to wallow in melancholy lexicon forever. Being a reflection of my own state of mind (and a possible source of information for potential employers) I must endeavour to keep it cheerful. Positive things happen to positive people you know! Which is utter bullshit because I know some people who really are just cursed. But its a nice philosophy. One which I will embrace until I am firmly established in a new job.
On a nice note, I went to London last weekend, odd place. Did the tube, did Trafalgar and Camden and Covent Garden, did clubs and post club carry outs, did nice Camberwell beer gardens in the heat wave, but to be perfectly honest, my absolute favourite aspect of London was the transvestite fashion parade/courtship ritual type thing that we were priviledged enough to encounter after very nearly stumbling into a hard core bondage club. What a wonderfully multi-cultural experience for a bleary-eyed, parochial, north-east girl like me.
So that was London, most of it was spent feeling hung over but it was nice all the same.
Another nice thing happened to me today too; I was invited for an interview. Hooray! But I'd better not say too much about that, as I mentioned earlier, you never know who's googling you and what they'll find... Although as far as they know I'm some sort of prominent birdwatcher who died of typhoid in a Georgia brothel in the 19th century or something.

So who do I vote for?

2005-04-27T16:17:00.000+01:00

That, my friends, is a question no supposedly un-biased web-based questionnaire can answer. The real crux of the issue is, do I follow my principles and waste my vote on a party who has very little chance of winning, or do I use my vote tactically on a party whose policies and practices leave a lot to be desired, but will ensure that those war-mongering bastards don't get the backing they need to carry out any more of their misguided little neo-conservative missions? In fact, forget that, just tell me which ignoramus wrote up the 'How to Vote by Post' instructions and inserted the phrase 'Party Logo's' on not one, but all of the ballot paper diagrams. Then let me know which political party promises to teach kids how to use apostrophes correctly. I might also address their use of capitals but that would just be pedantic.

How do I fill my days now?

2005-04-25T13:20:00.000+01:00

That's it then. Dissertation completed and submitted. If I can afford to I'll get some space on the old tinternet and post it up there in all its 52 pages of double spaced glory for everyone to see. I might even name it big hard cocks so it gets more hits.
So now it comes to what to do with this blog. Fortunately I had the foresight to name it Subject to Change, allowing for the possibility that my dissertation wouldn't go on forever. But the last thing I want to do is turn it into a 'this is what I did today and my boss is an idiot' sort of blog. Soooo not me. So I'm turning the decision over to you, my devoted readership, because that's how much I care. This may also be an indication of how much I attempt to avoid decision-making but I don't really want to make that assumption right now. Prizes as usual for the best suggestions. Mars bars have so far failed to elicit the volume of responses I was hoping for so maybe I'll sort out some hard core porn for the winner instead. Two porn references in one post? Scary.

The Whining

2005-04-12T13:18:00.000+01:00

All work and no play makes Helen a dull girl. All work and no play makes Helen a dull girl. All work and no play makes Helen a dull girl. All work and no play makes Helen a dull girl.
It's not actually that bad if I'm truthful. I'm really not going to start chasing my family with an axe. Maybe a mallet. In memory of Timmy. Someone told me old Timmy of the Mallets died the other day but to be honest I have neither the time nor the desire to confirm this particular snippet of Z-list hearsay.
But anyway, on Saturday night I somehow managed to check the date and realised I have two weeks, not three to finish my dissertation, and only one week to do a couple of courseworks. Fuck. At this point I vowed to: a) get my ass in gear and do some more work, and b) check my diary regularly to avoid future pant-shitting from overly optimistic deadline calculations.
Work inevitably started on Monday morning with a healthy dose of 5-HTP and Korean Ginseng with my tea and skimmed milk. That shit really works, my serotonin was practically through the roof, brain on overdrive I managed to finish a 4,000 word essay on Canadian publishers, and even started writing up my dissertation research. But everything's relative, today I'm writing my blog, despite repeated efforts to do something constructive.
I also got rejected for teacher training yesterday, but I did apply a month and a half late. Oops. It just means that for the first time in my life I have to spend a year in the real world of early mornings, council tax and full price club entry. I'm sure I can still convince Pizza Hut that I'm a student though, so I won't go hungry at least.
On a final pessimistic note: Clan Royal DIE DIE DIE!!!

Crisis averted

2005-04-05T14:18:00.000+01:00

It's OK! No need to panic, my sidebar seems to have sorted itself out. And I now have a hit counter (snazzy eh?) so I can track every one of you suckers and sell your details to a marketing company so you'll be bombarded with spam forever and ever and ever. Ha! Oh and if you are interested in spam (which of course everyone is) check out spamusement.

Pointless Sites

2005-04-04T16:05:00.000+01:00

This just demonstrates the exquisite absurdity of the internet. I came across it while doing research. I love my dissertation...

Analogies abound

2005-04-04T13:08:00.000+01:00

It's been an interesting week atop the emotional rollercoaster that is my dissertation experience. Last thursday began well as I cheerily arrived at uni expecting a healthy amount of praise for my SHIT HOT introduction (see last post). However, my exhilarating jaunt in the clouds was to be short lived, for when the topic of research (and the fact that I hadn't yet done any) came up, the entire rickety ride came crashing down around my ears. I awoke several suicide attempts later amidst the pile of twisted metal and rubble of my lever arch files. At this point I thought it might be about time to pull myself together and get some god damn work done.
That was then, this is now. The reconstruction work is almost complete and the whole thing should be back on track by tomorrow, I predict (with the certainty of a local building contractor).
As for the dreams, well they're as fucked up as ever. The other night (and I'm not shitting you) I dreamt I was some kind of flying superhero and I had to rescue someone from the top of a very high and slowly disintegrating building. As the building fell so too did I, my flying ability seemingly inextricably linked with the structural stability of the skyscraper. It all seemed to end quite happily though, with a lesbian kiss and trip past the chipper (on foot) on the way home.

By the way, can anyone tell me why some of the stuff in my sidebar is centally aligned? Or is it indented? I wanted my countdown clock to be in the middle but not all the other shit. Once again, prizes will be offered for correct answers. In the event of a tie entries will be judged on the e-card on which they are submitted. Extra points for technicality of flash animations.

Send me an answer!

Productive day

2005-03-25T12:42:00.000Z

You know, it's surprising how many people don't know the difference between a busy day and a productive day. This can be used to great advantage when academic progress is minimal and there are only four weeks left to A- (Armageddon/All Hell Breaks Loose/All I Want is an Extension/Are you kidding I can't finish it in that time?!) Day. Last week was one predominantly made up of busy days. Busy days are principally comprised of finding the most inane and pointless websites in existence and then providing links to them from this blog so that others can share in the frivolous squandering of precious man hours.
Productive days can be defined as 'what I did yesterday and will hopefully be doing for the rest of today'. As most of the patrons of the pub I was in last night (for pub read: library) will know, following yesterday's unrestrained bout of productivity I now have a SHIT HOT introduction to my dissertation. Or at least I think so.
Just to cover my ass in the event of the (very real possibility) of my tutor reading this, I have included the following disclaimer:
Busy Days are by no means intentional. They are usually the result of an inexplicable inability to do any real work and are often interspersed with short spells of productivity. In addition to this everything written in this blog may or may not be entirely fictional. Hence when I come to ask for an extension I do not believe that this blog or any content contained within should be used to weaken my case which will of course be based entirely on medical grounds.

Busy Day

2005-03-14T15:51:00.000Z

Today I joined www.granitecity.org. Please take a look, becasue they were nice enough to post a comment on my blog (unlike most of you joyless bastards) and encouraged me to come and join their happy little community of Aberdonian oddities. This is a momentous occasion being that I have never put my name on a forum before. Sad people do that. Surely I'm not one of them? Let's take a deeper look. I write my own blog. I now even post pictures of my extra-curricular activities on said blog. I joined a forum today and posted a comment. I also have a not-too-shabby comic collection (all indy though, none of that Marvel or DC rubbish). I think the Geek-o-meter just exploded.
Actually I found a real geek-o-meter on the internet and did not too badly. Only 7% geek. But I guess the fact that I actually went and Google-searched a geek-o-meter in the first place completely negates my score.
For those of you getting worried about my academic progress I can now gleefully say that I have complete a coursework. One down, three-and-a-dissertation to go.

2005-03-08T19:22:00.000Z

At the risk of becoming one of those dull bloggers who posts about every mundane aspect of their lives, look where I was at the weekend! (If you can guess the precise location there's a prize in it for you, maybe a mars bar or something. Answers on an e-card please.)As the more perceptive among you may have realised I have just discovered the wonders of photo hosting so expect some more photos soon. You know the kind, what I had for dinner, my bathroom taps, that sock I just found down the side of my oven...

Ft. William bird flu impairs productivity

2005-03-08T16:52:00.000Z

It's not going well. I'm only using this post in an attempt to get some words flowing. I've successfully written the contents page for my dissertation but the actual content is not forthcoming. Writers block is also being compounded by a comparatively mild strain of Fort William bird flu picked up while snowboarding last weekend (sorry I know I'm not supposed to be enjoying myself for the next six weeks, I guess the cold is a result of instant karma), along with an overwhelming urge to get back up the hill again while there is still some snow left.
Sooooo tempted to just give up on the bloody dissertation. I know I'll get it done, I'm just not relishing the thought of writing a 10,000 word essay at the last minute. Which I know is going to happen. I'm a procrastinator not a planner. I'll get it done but not until it absolutely positively has to be done. Why why why can't I just start writing it?!

Change the subject quick before I punch the monitor. This week I have been mostly visiting say no to 0870 dot com. This is largely because I love hearing the undisguised irritation in the Carphone Warehouse receptionist's voice when I, the impertinent and much too well informed customer, call their employees' landline, thus avoiding the need to remortgage my house for the sake of being put on hold for the average small mammal's lifespan. Ha!

Ah, calmness has now swept over me. I can continue without fear of doing irreparable damage to my computer. Another of this week's web discoveries (this find should rightfully be credited to my other half for his tireless efforts to find the most obscure musical treats) is the UK TV Advert Music Database. Now I know who produced that tune from the Citroen dancing car ad! Pity everyone else found this out ages ago and consequently the average price of the 12" of this track is around 20 quid. Feck.

Going back to my original topic, if anyone, and I mean anyone, thinks they know what I should write in my dissertation I'm open to all, and I mean all, suggestions, because I'm getting nowhere fast.

Follow the code or be doomed I tell ye!

2005-02-03T15:22:00.000Z

Wow, it's surprising how similar the blogosphere is to the real world. The desire to write a profound or witty or thought provoking post has definite paralels with the desire to exude those same qualities when out on the piss with one's mates. However, when things go horribly wrong and one embarrases oneself in a moment of total, unadulterated excess it is often difficult to show face again, be it in urban or cyber space. I think, perhaps, it takes longer to recover from the shame of a nonsensical, rambling blog post than from an actual nonsensical, rambling monologue that bores every one of your friends to the brink of sanity. For in the world of the blog the shameful post remains there for all to see. That drunken encounter with a metaphorical lamppost can be revisited again and again with the slapstick resonance of a 'you've been framed' clip. The real world, however, is perhaps less real by comparison. Memories fade (thankfully), people forget what an utter arse you were the last time they saw you (unless the act was too vile and insulting to forget, an unfortunate certainty for some people I know...) and forgiveness is mandatory in light of the known effects of certain intoxicants.
Blogs however do have an interesting feature in that the author maintains ultimate control over the content available for perusal by their audience. If you don't like a post, delete it. If you don't like the tone of your blog, get rid of it and start again. If you don't want certain people to see it, password protect it. But what's the point in that? I actually feel some sort of moral duty to avoid all forms of censorship. Some sort of perceived 'bloggers' code' prevents me from removing material that might cast me in a bad light. This is who I am and giving any other impression would be committing some sort of internet perjury. I wonder if this is a common phenomenon, if other bloggers feel the same about image preservation on their blogs? Something I must find out...

Now for my new 'regular' section... I believe the 'code' also forbids me from producing a blog that is almost entirely devoid of links, so from now on I will endeavour to include at least one link to a site that I like/dislike/find interseting/think is a pile of shite in every post.

OK, lets start with an easy one, perhaps my favourite website of all time (please be aware, this site will only be of interest to music geeks) is Gemm, the giant, online music marketplace whose tagline reads quite unequivocally 'If you can't find it here, fuhgeddaboudit!' This I can just about vouch for, although ebay often provides its own gems when all other hope is lost. If you are a collector of rare vinyl and don't know about this site you should be ashamed of yourself. As an aside I must add that I abhorr the term collector as it tends to generate images of my old economics teacher, carefully unpacking, dusting and repacking his model trains, yet never fully appreciating them by using them as they were intended for fear of causing irreparable damage to their antique paintwork. Records are meant to be played. Loud and often. Screw the neighbours, they could benefit from hearing some real music once in a while. Maybe it'll shake them out of their Beyonce-induced trance.

More links to follow... soon...

no title, too fucked.

2004-12-17T07:14:00.000Z

As the Archbishop of Canterbury would say: Oh dearie, dearie me. I now have blessed home internet access so you can all look forward to my pissed ramblings from on. Joy to the world. Have a merry Christmas...

You lucky, lucky people!

2004-11-15T14:24:00.000Z

Sincerest apologies to all who read this blog, I have been neglecting my duties for too long. New job and new computer games don't make for a productive Helen. But I'm back now so do not fear, the quest for a 1st class dissertation goes on.

Progress has been minimal over the past fortnight, although I have begun work on my research proposal (if you're really nice to me I might reward you all with a link to the completed article in a couple of weeks, you lucky, lucky people!). Subject (in the broadest terms) is now set in stone, provisional title is Blogging in Britain, followed by, depending on next meeting with supervisor, A Study of Blogging Practies in the UK, or Public Awareness and Perceptions of Weblogs in the UK (subject to change, of course). I'm rather liking the latter at the moment, just because it seems a bit more original. The former would more or less be a repeat of the research already conducted in the US whose purpose would be to compare motivations and habits of British bloggers to those in the US. Still worthwhile research but considering the importance of originality in the grade descriptors I think the 'awareness and perceptions' option is likely to bear more metaphorical fruit. We'll see.

Finally hi and thanks to Liam who is so far the only person to respond to my blog-reader recruitment post! Come on people, I don't bite. Not yet anyway. Things might change as deadlines approach...

Calling all blog readers

2004-10-29T13:03:00.000+01:00

My awareness of deadlines is becoming sickeningly more acute with each passing day. I still have no real idea of what I am going to be researching and why. Maybe I'm too hung up on the why. Is research for research's sake still worth doing? I was meant for a science degree, I knew it. Can I transfer to BSc Chemistry now please? I can see the point in scientific research. I'm just too practical for a wishy washy "Arts" degree.

Right, I will settle it right now. I am going to analyse the relationships between blog readers and writers in the UK. So there is a point to blogging after all: it forces me to make decisions. My only problem now is how the hell do I find blog readers? Any suggestions welcome, please email. Hey, (I hate the Americanization of our language, don't y'all?) if you're a blog reader YOUR BLOGGER NEEDS YOU!

Right, I'm off to read a stack of CMC books (can anyone sense this getting less formal? Could just be me...).

One last thing, on a personal note, (firm evidence of decreasing formality, as is excessive use of ellipses...) I realised the other night that it is incredibly difficult for me to read academic texts because I hate my own "voice". The internal one that we all utilise when reading something we don't understand. Mine is too patronising.

Clarification eludes me

2004-10-25T10:45:00.000+01:00

I thought that the more I read about blogging the easier it would be to decide on a topic for my thesis. I don't think I could have been more wrong. Just what the fuck am I doing here? Seeking clarification in every journal article I read but finding nothing but another maze of unanswerable questions, that's what. And then seeking further clarification by writing down my disorganised thoughts, which currently consist of:

What is the difference between UK and US blogs? Although my hypothesis is based on little more than a five minute perusal of a couple of journal blogs from both here and across the pond, I would like to suggest that:- a) UK bloggers are much more disenchanted, depressed and generally pissed off at the state of the world than US bloggers (especially the teenagers, why are US teenagers so bloody cheery? Aren't you all supposed to be slitting your wrists coz you put on an extra pound and you won't make homecoming queen?), and b) UK bloggers seem to have much more of a penchant for 'bad' language (or as they amusingly refer to it in the US, 'cuss words'). (End of thought. Although liable to surface elsewhere completely out of context. Keep eyes peeled.)

And precisely why do people read blogs? In other words I think it would be interesting to "precisely assess the relations between blog writers and blog readers" as described by Nardi et al in the Discussion and Further Reseach section of Blogging as Social Activity . This could have some interesting applications for business use of blogs. There seems to be a high degree of trust between bloggers and their audiences, and (again from Blogging as Social Activity) there are "unwritten rules of good behaviour prevalent" which interests me from the perspective of a bloodsucking marketeer (I hate them with a passion but hey, everybody's gotta make a living somehow).

Enough, this isn't helping.

Bloggers for Blogging

2004-10-19T14:49:00.000+01:00

Why do I suddenly feel like I am single-handedly defending the entire blogging population of the world? Since I started talking about doing my dissertation on blogging I have felt like unofficial spokesperson for the world of blog. Why do people keep making me defend my choice, not only of thesis topic, but of hobby?

Every time the subject comes up in conversation I am bombarded with questions about the definitions of blogging and the reasons for its existence. “What makes it different from a website, or a chatroom, or a newsgroup?” friends and family cry in unison; “Aren’t bloggers just re-inventing the wheel?” I have begun to wonder if they feel threatened by this new phenomenon. Is it because they don’t understand it? Maybe more to the point, do I feel threatened by them? I am an unusually defensive person; god knows what psychological abnormalities are responsible for that but it’s true, I do tend to jump to my feet with my hackles up and my teeth bared at the first sign of attack, real or imagined.

So, after a period of level-headed musing, taking into account my rampant over-sensitivity, I have concluded that these people may not be waging war on what they see as pointless, self-obsessed, egotistical bloggers as I had first thought. Maybe they are simply seeking clarification, and as I seem to have been elected Minister of Blog for Scotland (or at least the Aberdeen area), it is, I suppose, my duty to serve my electorate. And while I would love to sit here and attempt to condense everything I have learned about blogs in the past few weeks into a readable post I’m afraid time is a factor. As are my writing skills, so instead I will direct any interested parties, as I was directed, to Rebecca Blood’s essay weblogs: a history and perspective (you may have already followed this link from a previous post, it really is worth reading the whole thing though). In my opinion it is the most readable introduction to weblogs and perfect brain fodder for the layman. It also provides some deliciously rational explanations for the existence of weblogs alongside webpages and other forms of computer mediated communication (CMC). When you’ve read it you can come back and argue your case with me. And if you still fail to agree I’ll give you some more stuff to read!

As a final note I would like to offer thanks to the very few people I have spoken to about my dissertation whose faces did not screw up in an expression of utter bafflement at the mention of blogging. In actual fact it seems that the more you know about blogging the more entertaining it becomes, and the more valid a communication medium it seems to be.

Woe is me...

2004-10-15T13:48:00.000+01:00

Oh God, I feel like such a fraud! I'm not a blogger, just a cheap imitation. Recently I read Blood's History and Perspective essay, which gave me a major complex about the total absence of links in my posts (as you can see, now resolved). Then I read the Schiano, Nardi, Gumbrecht and Swartz essays (well, some of them) which sort of re-validated my shoddy efforts. Sort of. I mean, if blogging is a valid alternative to post-its on the fridge then surely I have some degree of validity? Oh now I'm contradicting myself, I said I wasn't looking for affirmation! Nobody answer that! It was a rhetorical question, OK?
I just can't help being racked with guilt about my lack of attention to my blog. I thought this was an avenue for the release of stress, a place where one could gather one's thoughts and make sense of life, the universe and all the fish or whatever. It's just causing me more stress. I lie awake at night thinking of what to post next. Running all the possibilities through my mind. I would like to create a blog with a theme, a bit of consistency, but it just seems to be a random collection of musings.
Maybe that's what its supposed to be. Oh dear, I'm musing again.
Well that's basically the extent of my dissertation research so far... I've read Blood, Schiano, Nardi, Gumbrecht and Swartz (in no way comprehensively) oh, and Huffaker's thesis.
I also started to consider possible research areas today, in the sense that I actually wrote down some of the disjointed thoughts that have been coursing along my neural pathways over the past few weeks. They are as follows: (please feel free to comment if you know of any research in these areas already, or if you think my ideas are crap and nobody except me would be interested in reading about them, although that would form an interesting parallel with this blog, don't you think?)

1. A comparison of British and American blogs - it seems to me that most (if not all?) research into the reasons for blogging and into the categorisation of blogs and bloggers has been based in the US. Maybe the British perspective is different?
2. A more in-depth analysis of "blogs as catharsis" as termed by Nardi et al in "I'm Blogging This". I like the idea of blogging being the ultimate form of self-help, although I'm sure a fair bit of psychology would be involved and I'm not so into reading Freud/Jung.
3. The future of blogging in terms of its increasing exposure and its potential (inevitable?) use by companies as a marketing tool.
4. The effects of blogging on traditional forms of journalism. Really not sure where to go with this, need to do more reading.
5. A comparison of blogging with other media forms such as radio, again mentioned by Nardi et al in "Blogging as Social Activity".

I'm too tired and busy to think of any witty summation to end my post with so this is all you're getting.

I have a purpose!

2004-10-07T17:03:00.000+01:00

It's taken a over a month but I'm back again and this time I have a purpose. I was going to delete my first post because it didn't seem to convey the right attitude when I considered my new reason for writing this blog, but it reminded me of my initial naivety and therefore I have decided it can remain posted for all to see.

So, I suppose as my currently-non-existent-but-entirely-possible-audience-of-the-future you are all dying to know why I am cluttering up cyerspace with yet more self-obsessed blather? Well, I'm embarking on a BA Hons Publishing thesis, the subject of which (in broad terms) is blogging, and as such I decided the most appropriate way to recount my experiences and concurrently organise my thoughts would be to use a blog. Makes sense dunnit? I might even develop some first hand knowledge of what I'm writing about, which after three years of higher education will, surprisingly enough, be a bit of a novelty for me!

So, in short, my experiences so far= discover blogs, read a couple, hmm... looks interesting... lets write 10,000 words on them, steal ideas from lecturer... Bang! Here I am. It's going to be a long and tortuous journey, any charitable words of wisdom will be much appreciated and possibly rewarded with citation.

I'll keep you posted.

First Post

2004-07-30T16:34:00.000+01:00

And so begins the great blogging experiment...

When I stumbled upon the term 'blogging' while reasearching possible dissertation topics only two days ago, I could not have anticipated my current position. But here I sit, tapping away at my stained and dusty keyboard in the vain hope that someone will perhaps stumble across my ramblings, and gain an insight, or perhaps form an opinion, or maybe just get pissed off at yet ANOTHER blogger cluttering up their Google results.

And just so you know, I don't seek support, or understanding, or confirmation, I just want something to do while I'm bored at work!

If you do happen be diverted along this cyber single track back road (with very few passing places) then feel free to rant (that's why I'm here after all) as you pass. Unless you drive a Bentley in which case you can turn around and piss off back where you came from you loathsome, self-gratifying cretin with regal envy.